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“It will take us about five hours to reach the mouth of the Thames,” Captain Egil Aune tells us on the bridge as we set sail. It’s a surprisingly leisurely passage along the 40 miles of the London waterway when everything else at the start of our mini-break weekend cruise has been so efficient.
We boarded Ambassador’s flagship the Ambience at the London International Cruise Terminal at Tilbury, Essex, in what feels like record time for a European departure: it takes us a mere 30 minutes after leaving our cases at the bag-drop in the car park to check in, clear security and reach our cabin.
Compared with our last European flight a fortnight earlier, embarkation is a breeze. While we spent two hours in various queues departing from Naples Airport during our first experience of the EU’s new Entry/Exit System (EES) digital border, cruise passengers have a much easier time.
The UK government website confirms sailings that start and finish outside of the Schengen area (for example, at a UK port) will usually be exempt from EES checks for any European day trips.
Although we carried our passports, only our cruise card, which acts as a boarding pass, payment method and room key, was scanned when disembarking in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Our cruise is a three-night weekend escape to the Netherlands and Belgium – just long enough for those new to sailing to test their sea legs – with port stops in IJmuiden, for Amsterdam, and Zeebrugge, for Bruges.
Ambience is adults-only and carries 1,400 guests, although the muster station safety drill is the only time we get a sense of how busy it could be. It’s a surprise that she’s 35 years old because the decor is modern, British-themed with a Centre Court atrium, and the whole ship feels roomy. We never have trouble finding a seat in the restaurants or bars, and there’s a refreshing lack of towels bagging sunloungers around the small outdoor pool.
We’re welcomed to our spacious cabin with a fruit bowl, our names piped in chocolate beside a large box of Ferrero Rocher – a playful nod to the famous advert – and a bottle of sparkling wine, which we take out on the balcony to toast the voyage ahead.
Spoilt for choice
We head to the Lido deck where some passengers are already tucking in to lunch beside the pool. It also proves to be the perfect venue for Friday night drinks, with the river breeze tempering the heat of the sun and a spectacular uninterrupted view from on high.
Although all dining in the Buckingham Restaurant, Alfresco Grill and the Borough Market buffet are included in our fare, there are three options to upgrade to something special. We enjoy a knock-out £20 three-course Indian at Saffron on our final night, but the real treat is a sailaway dinner at the Chef’s Table. It’s an extra £89 each but doesn’t skimp on the theatricality or taste across eight courses with wines, a cheese board and coffee.
My oyster amuse-bouche arrives under a smoke-filled cloche, the beef fillet with lobster tail is cooked to our individual requests – tricky to time for a table of 10 – while the dessert has us all cooing at a whimsical candyfloss tree crowning an espresso crème brûlée.
After dinner, we head to the double-storey Palladium theatre for a disco show from a cast of 10 that includes creditable live singing of Bee Gees harmonies.
The music continues at the Observatory: a subdued daytime lounge with panoramic views over the bow that turns into a nightclub with a live DJ. It’s high on deck 14 with enough soundproofing that it didn’t disturb us when we finally gave our dancing feet a rest back in our cabin.
Haarlem charm and bustling Bruges
Think of the Netherlands in springtime and deckchair-striped fields of colourful tulips fill your mind. While Ambience offers an excursion to the fabled Keukenhof Gardens, we are nearing the end of the flowering season and opt for a day in the small, picturesque city of Haarlem instead.
Older than Amsterdam by 30 years and much less saturated with stags, hens and other sightseers, Haarlem gave its name to the New York neighbourhood when the American city was still known as New Amsterdam in the mid-1600s.
Just 15 minutes west of Amsterdam by train, and only 30 minutes by coach from Ijmuiden port, Haarlem proves to be a little haven of tranquillity, skirted by canals, with the River Spaarne running through the centre.
Mariet, the walking tour guide included in our excursion, leads us through markets and past the imposing Grote Kerk (big church) of St Bavo – a cathedral so cold in winter, the congregation decamps to the nearby Nieuwe Kerk (new church, although still nearly 380 years old).
The highlight is the magical inner courtyards of almshouses scattered throughout the city. An unassuming brick alleyway opens into the lush green oasis at Hofje van Bakenes. Founded in 1395 to offer shelter to widows and other women in need, it’s the oldest in the Netherlands.
In contrast to the calm of Haarlem, Bruges on our second day ashore is buzzing with tourists crowding onto narrow stone bridges and packed into sightseeing canal boats.
A friend told us to head to The Old Chocolate House before it got busy for a do-it-yourself hot chocolate. Dave’s recommendation does not disappoint: huge bowls of warm milk came with a tiny whisk and a tray of chocolate pieces and flavourings to stir in. I choose a generous quenelle of stem ginger dotted with four dried chillies, allowing me to pick my spice level.
The sound of chimes leads us to The Belfort, the imposing belfry tower with 366 steps overlooking the market square. It houses a 47-bell carillon keyboard, and while we enjoy more traditional tunes, we overhear a tour party being told the carillonneur is also known to play the Star Wars theme tune.
After a long day on cobbled streets, and weighed down by waffles, frites and more chocolate, it’s back aboard Ambience in time for some pampering in the secluded Green Sea Spa. My tired legs appreciate the cool mineral treatment applied by Ugyen from Bhutan, who administers mind-melting reflexology to my feet while I marinate wrapped in warming mud and bright green towels.
So much to see at sea
It’s a lot to pack into a three-night cruise, and it’s only when I check the deck plan on our final morning that I remember I had meant to browse the shelves in the Brontë Library, and while we were never short of a cocktail opportunity, we’d failed to visit Raffles Bar.
A full day at sea would have given time for a morning yoga class or more quizzes and game shows in the Purple Turtle Pub. It was no surprise that some passengers opt to stay on board to enjoy all the amenities, including hot tubs, a gym and easy access to meals, snacks and drinks.
We went for the low-hassle city break but discovered so much more. Life on board Ambience is cosy and calm, with plenty of opportunities to tailor the experience through optional upgrades and excursions. It delivered a relaxing long weekend where the only DIY I attempt is whisking up that decadent mug of hot chocolate.
How to book
Amy Crowther was hosted by Ambassador for this trip.
Ambassador offers a range of mini-cruises and longer voyages to book directly through ambassadorcruiseline.com/ or call 0330 162 4111. Prices will vary depending on the length of cruise, cabin type and departure port.